What a photographer's job is.

So, what my job is as a photographer is to make images that create emotion and a connection between my shots and my viewers. I personally, am not a shock photographer. I don't post uncomfortable shots very often if at all and certainly not unflattering ones of myself. So when people look at my videos and my images and say, "BAH, Jyn you look just FINE.." I get flustered. Sure I look fine, its a photograph where I held myself just so and photoshopped certain things just so, so that it was pleasing to the eye. I don't alter my images to the extent of them NOT looking at all like the original, but I do take out acny, certain flaws, bruises, I touch up my makeup, etc.
So, I'm not looking straight on with my flappy wings hanging in front of you for you to see the weight I need to lose.
Also, I tend to have a lot of people excuse away my extra weight with the fact that I have had 5 kids. Thats not an excuse to look like you had five kids, I shouldn't have to resolve to that. I really would like people to stop telling me that as if looking healthy is unrealistic for a mom of five. It's not.
-Jyn

And 8 days later....

I am STILL 131.

FRUSTERATING!

I have not had any fatty foods or fruits or any of that, but for some reason my body is holding onto this weight for dear life.

I have been drinking lots of water, but I seem to be retaining it. I wonder if Im starting that-time-of-the-month soon? Actually, I had it on the 3rd, so- that's not a good excuse.

This is the toughest part for me. Following the normal regimen and not seeing imediate results. 8 days and nothing!

arg.

-Jyn

eating out

Eating out is hard. A lot of restaurants don't cater to low carb meals, so expect annoyed looks and impatient waitresses.

Day 3: Sat., 131 Pounds and hungry

Im out of variety again.
I have eggs... and celery and coffee and brocolli and mayo. About it.
I cant live off that.

I need to buy some fat free cheeses and fat free cream, fat free butter and some sugar free goodies.

My stomach has been growling since last night which isn't good, but Im not starting over just because all I have is eggs. We're going to go out to eat this morning and we will see what I can get the poor restaurant to do for me. :-)

But YAY! 131. Getting there. I'm already looking for size 6 pants :P


NOTE:
Caffeine isn't very good when you are on a low carb diet. Not only can the caffeine stimulate your pancreas to produce insulin, but the shock your system is already going through can cause the caffeine to freak out your heart. My heart was fluttery and palpitating all day yesterday. I must get some decaf coffee to water down my regular cup.
-Jyn

Being a Loser Today: Thurs 132pounds

UPDATE!!

So, after going on the SBD I got myself down to 135. YUP, but I also got busy. So, I forgot to record it.

This past May I miscarried my 6th baby. I was expecting to gain weight, and then when I lost the baby I felt sad, depressed, and fatter than ever without anything to show for it. But somehow, a few weeks later I was back down to 135 and have stayed there.

Now, it is September.

The kids have started school, and i have time during the middle of the day to shoot my photography and concentrate on all the things I know I want to change about myself to be a healthier person.

So, I decided I was going to go on the SBD again and try to lose another 10. That is my restarting goal. One of my inspirations is my GF (you know who you are!) who has been battling some serious health issues. Normally an active healthy gal, she learned she had a rare kidney disorder and has had to completely cut certain things from her diet. This is a life or death thing, she has no options.

She is not only taller than me but thinner, and I was shocked because she looks so healthy. Not stick thin- but basicly the way I want to look. Losing 10 wont be the death of me and when I think about what I eat, I think about her life and the way she must live now.


I weighed myself the other day and I was, 135. Today I started the diet and I am showing as 132 which has a lot to do with water loss at the moment. I am going to try and keep myself consistant with my blog entries, so bear with me. :-)

The south beach diet has never let me down. I have ALWAYS lost at least 10 pounds in the first 2 weeks. I just need to push my goal a little farther this time.

This morning I made 3 eggs with 1 slice of tomato and coffee with splenda. I need to find my decaf, because all I have is very caffeinated.

For a snack I had a piece of celery with peanut butter and then at lunch I had some lean steak with spices. I wish I had more variety, I guess I need to go shopping.

*MUAH*
-Jyn